Sunday 18 January 2009

Year of the Ox

Report on the Annual Consultation with Master Yip

I have just returned from consulting our venerable 'Feng Shooee' advisor, Master Yip. The Noble House takes Chinese geomancy very seriously, as you are aware from the positioning of our office doors, and always consults Yip for his predictions over the following year for those members of staff who are keen to receive HK's most eminent astrologer's view upon the fortunes of the coming cycle. As Tai Pan of the Noble House, I have taken the liberty to interpret some of Yip's findings into business related contexts.


Yip: The Heavenly Stem and Earthly Branch are both grounded in earth, with concealed seams of gold and hidden springs. The coffers re-fill, but are spilled anew by chaos.


Tai-Pan: Although seemingly stable and initially profitable, the property/land sector will drain the funds poured into it. Not a good year to invest in new building projects (Shame about your new developments in Central and Kowloon West, Gornt). This also could be a veiled hint that there will be a general disaster to hit Asia - but then the astrologers do get caught up with big events happening in China in years that end in 9 (PRC founding, Tiananmen, May 4th movement etc.).

Yip: The giants that fell leave space for new dragons; those that did not fall must bend like the bamboo or shatter.


Tai-Pan: The Noble House was largely unscathed by the financial crisis due to forethought and diligent diverse planning. There will be new competition filling the vacuum left by competitors no longer with us. Rothwell Gornt did not collapse, but will have to fight hard against its rigid structures to adapt to new times. The Noble House will survive and prosper due to its flexibility.


Yip: The rat leaves chaos, the Ox stabilises; restraint, toil, wisdom and determination are the characteristics of the Ox. Those like the Ox will prosper.


Tai-Pan: Not a year for excess, put your head down and work. I'll put off buying that new AMG SLK as an example to the rest of the Noble House.

Yip: Be careful those born in the year of Ram, Horse, Dragon and Dog.


Tai-Pan: I know his birthday is a closely guarded secret, but I'd wager Gornt was born under one of these signs. Advice I didn't need in this instance!


For a full report, please contact The Tai-Pan's secretary Dyspepsia Wong on ext. +5118.

8 comments:

Quillan Gornt said...

Sir,

My Feng Shooee consultant informs me that the Taipan of the Noble House will likely suffer a waning of the Jade Stem, starting this Chinese New Year.

Best keep up your "Eight Jade Dragon Excercises", Dunross!

Best of New Year joss,

Tai-Pan said...

So how come you know the answer to this problem? It becomes clear what that 'personal' section in your company accounts was diverted towards. Must be quite some issue to warrant such a large expenditure.

Quillan Gornt said...

Sir,

My 'large expenditure' - it must be said - is no great secret (especially amongst the girls at the Pussy Cat Club).

In Europe's frosty economic climate, I would imagine your 'expenditure' is shrinking somewhat.

Best of dross,

Tai-Pan said...

Your fundamental business mistakes are why you'll never be THE Tai-Pan Gornt: you own the Pussy Cat Club and yet you still rack up the largest bar-bill there.

Quillan Gornt said...

Sir,

Diversification is a principle that was driven into me by Tyler Brock himself! The Pussy Cat Club is just one small part of Rothwell-Gornt's business kaleidoscope.

Your shortcoming, Taipan, is that you would overlook investing in a perfectly sound business (such as the PCC) - choosing instead the high moral ground.

May your estate crumble.

Best of joss,

ulaca said...

Try parking your car sideways across three car park spaces, as our MD does. No VIP client fails to be impressed by that, as he's chauffeured off to Happy Valley of a Wednesday evening.

Tai-Pan said...

I fear you may be mistaking parking across three spaces with an inability to drive. Are you sure he has a license? Still, this probably doesn't alter the underlying issue.

Regards,

The Tai-Pan

ulaca said...

I don't think he has time to bother with things like licenses, you know.