Thursday, 26 November 2009
Saturday, 8 August 2009
This month's Tai-Pan conference in Geneva saw The Noble House again flying in the face of the global recession and secure further business deals and interests which will garner profit admirably.
On the final day, business finished, the assembled Tai-Pans and European businessmen left the Beau-Rivage for some fillets de perche and Chasselais. When we arrived at the restaurant and were seated, however, we noticed that one of our number was missing. No prizes for guessing whom - our esteemed friend Mr. Quillan Gornt. Dinner continued without our companion, and our party decided to take a stroll along the waterfront where the Fetes de Geneve were taking place. And whom should we see there, you may enquire, but M. Gornt. He had seemingly monopolised an entire funfair dodgems ride and populated it with scantily clad young ladies of all varieties. He was screaming around the track, alternately swigging from a bottle of inferior champagne and shouting 'Vive la rue de Berne!' at the top of his voice, while ploughing into these poor girls in their cars. His extra mass left them little hope of a gentle nudge, but sent them flying and whirling at each contact. An amusing spectacle, but mildly embarrassing for Hong Kong's reputation in international business circles.
Sunday, 26 July 2009
Geneva is the location for this August's Tai-Pan Conference. It is unknown whether Gornt has recovered his mental well-being enough since his 'funny turn' the other week when he invested several billion in yoga and 'hip-hop' dance schools.
The Noble House looks forward to a successful and prosperous session, with several high-importance deals lined up with Swiss companies.
Tuesday, 23 June 2009
I look forward to celebrating another successful year with you all.
Good joss to one and all.
Sunday, 14 June 2009
this past month's trip back home to Hong Kong for the AGM and Asian leg of the Tai-Pan Summit in Hanoi was, I am glad to report, despite swine flu, a great success for The Noble House. New friendships and ventures were struck and old ties reaffirmed, all of which are critical to our prosperity and future.
It has, however, reinforced the remoteness of my current situation to our roots in Hong Kong. For the time being, it is absolutely essential that I remain here in the low countries to lead our European business operations, but I will endeavour to return as soon as feasibly possible to re-assume my seat in the Great House and office in the Struan's building.
There is of course nulli secondis in oriente to The Noble House of Asia, nor to Hong Kong, and although a global firm, our futures are inextricably intertwined.
I wish you all the bet of joss.
The Tai-Pan of the Noble House
Wednesday, 6 May 2009
Wednesday, 29 April 2009
With a warning not to accept lifts from Gornt, especially during the small hours of the morning, I wish all of my employees in the Netherlands a Happy Queen's day for tomorrow.
Sunday, 26 April 2009
The Noble House today confirmed the location of its 2009 AGM and Shareholder meeting. It will take place at the Royal Samuiian (Noble House Resort Group), Koh Samui, Thailand, between 28 May and 1 June. This will run following the annual Tai-Pan conference in Hong Kong, hosted this year by Victoria Bank.
Shareholders should register their interest to attend by 10 May.
Saturday, 18 April 2009
Poor Gornt looked a little the worse for wear, and slightly spaced out, when he was photographed leaving a premises in the Red Light District at 3 a.m., and was heard to be rambling about 'Hallucinations' and 'Stark reality' as the headline states.
Gornt's PR department went into overdrive, thinking attack the best form of defence, trying again to smear the name of the Noble House. As their allegations are entirely fictional, they have settled out of court. I wish Quillian a quick recovery, and am sure he can regain the vast amount of face that he lost with a generous donation to the Amsterdam Orphans fund.
Monday, 6 April 2009
Saturday, 14 March 2009
Wednesday, 25 February 2009
Available from all good stockists in Victoria.
If you are thinking of moving into the music industry, you would do well to read HKOB holdings' guide to making it in the record industry, based on an oiriginal idea by Noble House Publishing.
Monday, 23 February 2009
Gornt's favourite cruiser, the Sea Witch (named after his ancestor Brock's clipper) is up for sale. And at a price I think is quite unreasonable for such a junk (all puns intended).
I fear that if he's trying to raise capital to attempt to purchase new property, selling this isn't going to even raise enough money for the taxi ride to the estate agent.
Sunday, 8 February 2009
As the Tai-Pan of the Noble House, particularly when it comes to our products, the safety and health of Hong Kong is a great concern of mine. I am particularly worried that Gornt is pressing ahead with the release of 'ExtraJoss - Active', after the scandal that arose during its recent trial period in the Philippines.
It turned out that the factory Gornt bought to make this product used to be a pesticide factory. Subsequently, the 'ExtraJoss - Active' was tainted with abamectin, chlorthiophos and kasugamycin. As their marketing gimmick inside the ring-pull would say: Bad Joss.
Not only has Gornt gone ahead with ExtraJoss regular here in Hong Kong, but the source is still the same. Can he guarantee the safety of this product? He has so far avoided any comment on this product, and ExtraJoss - Active is not even listed on the Rothwell-Gornt website.
Citizens of Hong Kong - if you want to stay safe, drink Struan's Stag Cola.
Sunday, 1 February 2009
Earnings in the 4th quarter dipped slightly, in line with the global financial crisis, but it was still a record 135th year straight of growth in profits.
2009 looks to be a financially challenging year for the world, but The Noble House is sure that its diverse portfolio and dedicated staff will help it maintain its position as Hong Kong's most profitable trading house.
Please contact Euthanasia Tan (ex. 5154) for the full report.
Sunday, 18 January 2009
I have just returned from consulting our venerable 'Feng Shooee' advisor, Master Yip. The Noble House takes Chinese geomancy very seriously, as you are aware from the positioning of our office doors, and always consults Yip for his predictions over the following year for those members of staff who are keen to receive HK's most eminent astrologer's view upon the fortunes of the coming cycle. As Tai Pan of the Noble House, I have taken the liberty to interpret some of Yip's findings into business related contexts.
Yip: The Heavenly Stem and Earthly Branch are both grounded in earth, with concealed seams of gold and hidden springs. The coffers re-fill, but are spilled anew by chaos.
Tai-Pan: Although seemingly stable and initially profitable, the property/land sector will drain the funds poured into it. Not a good year to invest in new building projects (Shame about your new developments in Central and Kowloon West, Gornt). This also could be a veiled hint that there will be a general disaster to hit Asia - but then the astrologers do get caught up with big events happening in China in years that end in 9 (PRC founding, Tiananmen, May 4th movement etc.).
Yip: The giants that fell leave space for new dragons; those that did not fall must bend like the bamboo or shatter.
Tai-Pan: The Noble House was largely unscathed by the financial crisis due to forethought and diligent diverse planning. There will be new competition filling the vacuum left by competitors no longer with us. Rothwell Gornt did not collapse, but will have to fight hard against its rigid structures to adapt to new times. The Noble House will survive and prosper due to its flexibility.
Yip: The rat leaves chaos, the Ox stabilises; restraint, toil, wisdom and determination are the characteristics of the Ox. Those like the Ox will prosper.
Tai-Pan: Not a year for excess, put your head down and work. I'll put off buying that new AMG SLK as an example to the rest of the Noble House.
Yip: Be careful those born in the year of Ram, Horse, Dragon and Dog.
Tai-Pan: I know his birthday is a closely guarded secret, but I'd wager Gornt was born under one of these signs. Advice I didn't need in this instance!
For a full report, please contact The Tai-Pan's secretary Dyspepsia Wong on ext. +5118.